Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I need a burrito and a hug.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Drunk is not a location!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
