a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize