It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
