don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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