was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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