I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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