Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
