you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Dick very happy bro
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
