Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
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do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
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I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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