Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
tell me about the fingering
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