I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
