I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
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