By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
