just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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