Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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