Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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