when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
