And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
