Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
