just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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