Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
can u get pink eye on your cock?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Randomize
