Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
