Acid is not a monday night drug
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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