Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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