Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Randomize
