the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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