i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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