Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
