I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
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