My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
