Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
