You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
