I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
