I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize