My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
