We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
