Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
