Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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