He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
