im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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