tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It's just like the Real World with babies
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
