she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
