She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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