Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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