the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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