I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
