i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
