I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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