We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
