There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
