No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
