I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
