awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
