Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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