This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
