Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He did a backflip because drugs
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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