shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
