ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
