I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
