Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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