I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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