FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
