3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize