i permit you to call me
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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