FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My liver is preforming stress tests.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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