She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize