Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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