Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
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Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
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A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
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