oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
