like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Randomize
