he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
